Get the Facts
-What is Child Sexual Abuse?
-Healthy Sexuality In Children
-Signs of Possible Abuse
-Effects of Sexual Abuse
What are the Risks?
-Red Flag Behavior
Important Guidelines to Protect Youth
-Talking to Children
-What Can Parents Do To Prevent Sexual Abuse?
-Why Don’t Kids Tell?
-When They Do Tell
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
Child sexual abuse is sexual activity where forcing, coercing or persuading a child to engage in any type of sexual act by an adult, an adolescent, or an older child when one exerts power over the other and causes distressing and traumatic experience for its victims. Child sexual abuse is a crime in all 50 states.
Touching sexual behaviors include physical contact of sexual nature, and non-contact acts such as exhibitionism, exposure to pornography, voyeurism and communicating in a sexual manner on the Internet are considered sexual abuse.
When sexual activity involves another child or an adolescent, it is not always so clear. Some kinds of sexual behavior among children might be natural explorations rather than abuse.
-Sexual abuse includes: Exhibition, Masturbation, Fondling, Intercourse, Rape, Sodomy, Bestiality, and Ritualized Torture in cults.
-Sexual exploitation includes: Pornography and Child Prostitution
Who Does Child Sexual Abuse Affect?
1 out of every 3 girls
1 out of every 7 boys
A child is sexually abused every two minutes; 90% know and trust their attackers.
Only 25% of all abuse cases are ever reported.
5% of those will never get to court; 50% of those children will be returned to the alleged abuser.
One in 10 homes are involved in child sexual abuse, a leading cause of child prostitution and teen suicide.
Sexual abuse of children: Until the 1970s sexual abuse of children was a well-kept secret. The conclusions of many research projects show that an estimated 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused before they reach age 18. In Wisconsin, 5,618 sexual assaults reported in 2004, the latest figures available.
- Nearly 90% of assailants knew their victims while 6% were strangers
- 20% of the perpetrators were related to the victim
- The perpetuators were male (93.3%) and white (70.2%) for most reported sexual assaults
- The victims were predominantly female (85%) and white (80%) in most reported sexual assaults
- Over 70% of victims were under the age of 15
- The scene of the assault was the victim’s residence 23.6% of the time
- Age of victims: 1-12 years of age: 1,845. 13-15 years of age: 2,096. 16-17 years of age: 377. 18-20 years of age: 326. 21-29 years of age: 470. 30 years and older: 496. (Total is less than 5,618 due to the unknown age of 8 victims.) (State of Wisconsin, Department of Justice.)
Factors that place children at higher risk for abuse
-Age, -Friendliness, -Shyness, -Good manners, -Naivety, -Curiosity, -Isolation, -Living in single parent home, -Drug/alcohol abuse by parents, -A home with stepfather, -A home with boyfriend, -Previous abuse, -Having an unemployed father, -Parents work different shifts, -Inadequate parental supervision, -Parents who are sexually preoccupied, use pornography or have pornography in the home.
Child sexual abuse happens in all racial, religious, age and ethnic groups, and at all socio-economic levels. Since abuse is perpetrated in many homes across the United States, adults need to learn how to recognize red flag behavior of those that may be sexually abusing children and what to do if sexual abuse is suspected.
Healthy Sexuality In Children
Sexual development is a natural and healthy part of childhood. Sometimes parents are confused regarding what is ‘normal’ in their child’s behavior. This is a general list and does not include all typical development. If you have questions about your child, seek guidance from your family pediatrician.
Birth through Kindergarten:
Normal: Sexual language relating to differences in body parts, bathroom talk, pregnancy and birth. Masturbation at home and in public, and showing and looking at private body parts.
Unusual: Knowledge and discussion of sexual acts. Contact experiences with other children.
First Grade – Sixth Grade
Normal: Questions about puberty, pregnancy, sexual behavior, sexual role-playing and experimenting with same-age children including kissing, fondling, exhibitionism. Masturbation at home or other private places.
Unusual: Use of sexual words and discussing sexual acts.
Middle School and older Teens·
Normal: Questions about decision-making, social relationships, and sexual customs. Masturbation in private. Experimenting between adolescents of the same age, including open-mouth kissing, fondling, and body rubbing, and voyeuristic behaviors. Sexual intercourse occurs in approximately one third of this age group.
Signs of Possible Abuse
There are signs that parents and other adults will notice, if they know what to look for. There are physical and emotional indicators that can alert someone to a problem, be it sexual abuse or some other trauma in the child’s life.
Physical Characteristics:
Unexplained pain, swelling, bleeding, irritation of the mouth, genital or anal area
Frequent urinary or yeast infections
Nausea/upset stomach
Drug or alcohol problems
Inappropriate sex play or premature understanding of sex
Promiscuity
Behavioral Characteristics:
Crying, depression, anxiety
Withdrawal from others
Clinging to parents
Change in school performance
Anger & mood changes
Attention-seeking
Fear or dislike of certain people or places
Running away
Low self-esteem
Self-destructive behavior
Role reversal, overly concerned for siblings
Suicide attempts (especially adolescents)
Effects of Sexual Abuse
Methods to gain control of victims may change, but the end results are similar. Sexual abuse causes multiple negative physical and emotional effects.
The emotional: fear, nightmares, depression, phobias, anxiety, and low-self esteem.
The physical: drug and alcohol abuse, sexually transmitted diseases including HIV and pregnancy, as well as greater risks of physical injuries and self-destructive behaviors including suicide. Sexual abuse is never expected in families and causes years of hardship and healing. |
Sexually violated children can experience life-altering challenges. Shame and secrecy have powerful effects and usually harmful coping methods. Victims of child sexual abuse continue to impact our society well into adulthood. Consider the following:
-83 % of convicted killers (men and women) were physically and emotionally
abused as children and 32.2 % were sexually abused.
-73 % of prostitutes were sexually abused before 16 years of age.
-60 % of teenage mothers were sexually abused as children. (In Milwaukee more than
50% of teen mothers are sexually molested prior to their first pregnancy. United
Way report.)
-43 % of runaways are sexually abused.
Talking to Children
Keep a line of communication open with your child.
Although most sexual predators go to great lengths to groom a family with red flags often being evident, it is important to also educate youth. Talking with your child will likely increase awareness and the importance of personal body boundaries.
Having a family plan is a great reference to teach children what is and isn’t against the rules for sexual behavior. Teach what parts of their bodies others should not touch or look at.
Take care to leave the Stranger Danger topic for the Internet.
Be proactive. If a child seems uncomfortable, or resistant to being with a particular adult, ask why and take appropriate steps.
What Can Parents Do To Prevent Sexual Abuse?
Stay alert to sexual abuse and teach your children what it is, beginning with introductory concepts and building upon them as your child matures. Tell them they can and should say "No!" or "Stop!" to adults. Make sure your children know that it's OK to tell you about all areas of their life, even if they are told to keep a secret.
Talk to your child about sexual abuse.
Teach your child about the privacy of body parts. Begin talking about typical body development as early as 18 months when they learn about their own body parts.
Teach young children the difference between a secret and a surprise. A surprise makes you feel happy and is something to look forward to, a secret that makes a child feel scared, or uncomfortable is something to tell.
No one can tell a child how to feel.
Listen when your child tries to tell you something, especially when it seems hard for her to talk about it.
Give your child enough of your time so that the child will not seek attention from other adults.
Know with whom your child is spending time. Be careful about letting your child spend time in out-of-the-way places with other adults or older children. Plan to visit your child’s caregiver without notice.
Tell someone in authority if you suspect that your child or someone else's child is being abused.
Prevention measures to safeguard your children should begin early, since a number of child abuse cases involve preschoolers.
The following guidelines offer age-appropriate topics to discuss with your children:
18 months: Teach your child the proper names for body parts.
3-5 years: Teach your child about private parts of the body and how to say "no" to sexual advances. Give matter of fact answers about sex, only to the extent of the question they ask.
5-8 years: Discuss safety away from home and the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching. Encourage your child to talk about scary experiences.
8-12 years: Stress personal safety. Start to discuss rules of sexual conduct that are accepted by the family.
13-18 years: Stress personal safety. Discuss rape, date rape, sexually transmitted diseases, and unintended pregnancy.
Review the following with your child.
Remember, adults and older kids should:
Never ask you to keep a secret about touching.
Never touch you anywhere that is private, like where your bathing suit covers you.
Never ask you to touch them anywhere private.
Never reach under your clothes or try to get you to take off your clothes.
Never ask you to take off their clothes.
Never ask you to keep a secret about something that makes you feel scared or uncomfortable.
Never try to take pictures of you without your clothes
Never ask you to touch yourself or other kids anywhere private.
Never ask you to look at photos of naked children or adults.
Why don’t children tell if something has happened to them?
The abuser shames the child, points out that the child let it happen, or tells the child that his or her parents will be angry.
The abuser can be manipulative and may confuse the child about what is right and wrong.
The abuser sometimes threatens the child or a family member.
Some children who do not initially disclose abuse are ashamed to tell when it happens again.
Children are afraid of disappointing their parents and disrupting the family.
Some children are too young to understand.
Many abusers tell children the abuse is "okay" - “a game" or an “education”.
Know how children communicate.
Children who disclose sexual abuse often tell a trusted adult other than a parent.
Children may tell parts of what happened, or pretend it happened to someone else to gauge adult reaction.
Children will often shut down and refuse to tell more if you respond emotionally or negatively.
Your child has disclosed sexual abuse. Now what?
First, know that very few disclosed incidents are false. Young children especially do not have the sophistication necessary to make up sexual information. You have the ability to care for your child if they are sick or injured without overreacting, be sure to stay calm and respond in as natural tone as possible.
Telling an adult can be very scary so it is important to give your child permission to take their time to tell. Let him or her know you will love them no matter what. As you are gathering information, be sure to avoid leading questions. Asking about details can alter the child's memory of events. If you must ask questions to keep the child talking, ask open-ended questions like "what happened next?" Also let your child know that he or she has done nothing wrong and now that you know, you will keep them safe.
It may be tempting to take matters into your own hands, however there are several reasons you should let professionals handle matters. Professional guidance could be critical to the child's healing and to any criminal prosecution. Furthermore, the sexual abuse of children is against the law, it is important to seek professional help.
Most of all don’t panic.
Children who receive support and psychological help can and do heal. When an adult reacts to disclosure in a negative manner, the child can:
Shut down and discussion completely ends no matter what you say or do.
The child changes his or her story due to your anger or disbelief.
The child feels even guiltier.
The child changes the story with leading questions. If this happens the story appears to be coached. This can be very harmful if the case goes to court.
Some things you can say that will help your child:
I believe you.
I’m sorry that I didn’t know.
I know it’s not your fault.
I will take care of you.
I am angry with the person who did this.
I’m sad. You may see me cry, but it’s okay, I’m not mad at you.
I am upset, but not with you.
You did nothing wrong.
Since children cannot protect themselves, adults must learn to recognize and inquire about inappropriate adult behavior with children. Waiting for children to disclose leaves them to face abuse and trauma on their own
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